Have you ever seen the show Blind Date? It is a syndicated program that shows 2 blind dates per half hour episode. The participants are allegedly real people, yet, somehow they all look like models. The dates usually involve eating, drinking (they are chauffeured around), and usually some odd type of physical competition. I have seen them take Tae Kwon Doe lessons together, take sewing lessons, and take dance lessons. The really good episodes usually involve either a hot tub, or a fist fight in a bar. While watching this show at 1:30 am recently, I started to think, do people really go on these types of dates?
As a certified Nerd, with many Nerd friends, most of our first dates do not come anywhere close to what these shows portray. Before we get to the first date, it would be wise to spend this column focusing on the Cyber-Flirting aspect of Dating.
Back in my high school days, the closest we ever came to cyber flirting was sharing a hand-held Colecovision head-to-head football game. That's a far cry from today. There are various devices in today's market that will help a nerd meet other nerds.
The first step for the shy Nerd could be through the use of email. If there is someone you are attracted to, find their email address. This is usually not too difficult to do. If they have a job, find out the naming convention that their company uses. The most effective way I've found to do this is go to the about or investors relations page of the companies web site. Look for an officer or executives name, and determine how that company handles email addresses. If the object of your desire is at school, go to the school's admissions page or student directory and determine the naming convention through that.
Once you get the email address, everything is smooth sailing from there. There's always the sense of nervousness while writing the email, you may even feel your heart race a little. Benefits to using email to flirting is it gives you time to really think out what you're going to say. You can write drafts, revise them, and then send it. Once you send the email, there is a finality to the act. You will most likely have "senders remorse". Should I have done that? What if I sent it to the wrong person? No use in crying over spilled milk, its gone.
Once you've established an email relationship, your next step is to move onto a chat system. For flirting, a system like IRQ or AOL instant Messenger offers you the advantages of sending additional characters and sounds with your chat. You can now start expressing emotions electronically. These give you private conversations that won't get your relatives screaming at you to get off the phone.
Palm-type devices are also very helpful in the flirting realm. The infra-red beaming capabilities of these devises allow you to exchange your personal information easily. No more writing phone numbers on your palms.
A couple of precautions to take with cyber flirting. Before you get too mushy in your emails, make sure the email address is not shared by your objects entire family or dorm. That could get really embarrassing. Second, when using a handheld devise, make sure you point it in the right direction. Thirdly, and most importantly, most places have anti-harassment laws. There is a fine line between flirting and harassment. Learn to know when to stop. A process server walking up your front lawn is usually a good indication that you have gone too far. Don't stalk your object of desire. Life is not like the movies. Someone will not fall in love with you to get you to stop harassing them.
Good luck with your cyber flirting.
Next week, Nerd rejections. We've got the all-time best rejection.
