 |
Talking Trash
by Karin Call
December 28, 2000
You can’t escape it and you can’t control it. Office gossip can be cruel, nasty, and damaging. The spread of false information can be upsetting to the person who is being talked about, as well as effecting low morale and productivity for co-workers. Yet it’s a common and unavoidable presence in all workplaces. Who hasn’t participated in the buzz at one point or another?
Rumor mills get started when emotions run high, problems are ignored, and trust is lacking in a place of business. Under these conditions, there are going to be difficulties with interpersonal relationships. In high stress, fast moving, success-driven workplaces, rumors tend to thrive. Does this hotbed of anxiety sound like your office?
Luckily the following tips will help you turn it all around to your benefit. Use the office grapevine to your advantage for picking up useful pieces of information, even if your workplace environment isn’t very forthcoming with important news.
Avoiding office politics will only get you labeled as a loner – as opposed to a team player, and may possibly deem you as being untrustworthy with confidences and crucial information.
Oh, the irony of it all.
Turn negative into positive
Start by evaluating the gossiper’s intentions. Did this guy just get demoted from vice president of the IT department to first-level help desk technician? If he’s venting and embellishing facts, you may decide not to listen. You don’t have to, you know. Acknowledge his feelings and suggest he talk with someone else who is better suited to the task of hearing him out. And then hightail it to the nearest bathroom for a breather.
If you choose to listen to this guy’s story, before you do anything else, confirm that the gossip is true. Remember the child’s game ‘telephone’? It could happen to you. A comment gets passed around an office much the same way.
For example, the original sentence may actually be, “Janie is looking for a blue ring” but after being repeated eight or nine times, it evolves into “Jamie is hooking with a new fling.” Quite a different meaning to be sure.
While listening, it would be best to refrain from taking sides. Keep your opinions to yourself. You’ve heard the saying, “critique ideas, not people.” Live it.
As always, pick your battles. Is it really worthwhile to start a smear campaign because Sammy Schmoozer said you stole one of his pens from the cup on his desk? He’s got 629 of them in there. Who’s going to sound more childish in the long run, you or Sammy? Right or wrong, correct the problem and move on.
Now if you want to put an idea in your cubicle-mates ear, pointing out several well thought out reasons why the purchase of a new printer for the office would be fabulous; that may be worth your while. He will hopefully pass the idea on down the line until everyone is willing to go to bat for a new printer. Don’t waste your breath on petty issues.
It is also to your advantage to remain calm and pay attention to what is being said without blowing up. The office isn’t the place to lose your temper. If you let go of a string of swear words, you never know what message the gossip mill might conjure up about you to explain your uncharacteristic outburst. Maybe that you just got news that your job is on the line or that your latest idea is a bomb.
Or worse. Be leery.
Don’t take on a co-worker’s problem yourself. Sure, you can listen if you want to, and even offer some options for handling the issue - if help or intervention is requested. But don’t make it your baby.
You have enough on your plate already, not to mention the reputation you will have justifiably earned for sticking your nose into someone else’s business. Even worse, what if the problem has been blown out of proportion in the first place and isn’t even worthy of your expertise, time and effort?
If you happen to know the information you have been feed is totally false, don’t embarrass the squawker, or rather, gossiper. She may be wrong but she’s human. And it’s just a matter of time before she gets you back for it.
Sure, go ahead and correct the false rumor. Set the record straight. Feed as much accurate information into the system as you can. Just don’t point any fingers.
Let it be. Once the gossip has been dealt with, leave it alone. Don’t fan the flames. No need to dwell on it or repeat it. Unless you relish becoming part of the problem, that is.
Final words
Go ahead and serve as a sounding board to those pesky gossiper’s if you wish. Don’t waste your time cursing the grapevine. Cultivate it.
After all, you will never get away from office politics. Just be wary of third, fourth, and fifth hand information. While there may be a grain of truth in the matter, it will most likely take some digging to find it.
Poisonous workplace gossip stems from employee’s lack of trust in their company. Pump the facts into the rumor mill as often as possible. The truth will surely keep all on their toes!
|
